Breaking traditions

Be-careful with the "C" word.

There’s this word in the English language that is on death row. It’s been dying lonely in the last few years. Have you noticed that the word “Christmas” is diluting rapidly from daily conversations? Oops...I said the "C" word. Well, I couldn’t careless!!! I will keep on saying it and even it has become illegal to say so, I will wish everyone a Merry Christmas during the Christmas season and Christmas holiday. What are they gonna do to me? Lock me up and throw away the keys?

A few years back, one of my colleagues at a reception desk, wished customers who came to pick up their vehicles “Happy Holidays” and I, you know...just said “Merry Christmas” to them. I questioned why she does that and she told me that not everyone celebrates Christmas and that I should not say “Merry Christmas” for it may make some people unhappy or offended. Ok...now that caught me by surprise. I’ve heard that it has become politically correct to refer Christmas time as the “Holidays” instead. Heck I’ve even heard on the news that it’s been lobbied to have the Christmas tree change to the “Holiday tree” instead. How about having the Christmas tree removed from the court house because it isn’t politically correct.

What is political correctness? It’s all politics. No matter what angle you’re looking at it or no matter what background your ethnicity is. If I want to call Christmas Christmas...then so be it. However, since I was born, which is like ages ago, I’ve also known Christmas to be Christmas. Yes, it’s brings forth a holiday....but it brings forth a holiday only. Why change the concept. Why shift this paradigm. It’s been traditional. Then again, some also question tradition. Heck, some even challenge tradition. Well, let’s not get into that this time.

On the radio, on the news and newspapers, in televisions, in adverts, on signs of retail sales, in books and magazines, in cards, in and on....everywhere in North America, Christmas time is no longer referred to Christmas anymore. Have you heard of Happy Holidays? How about Holiday sale? Better yet, Holiday gifts or Holiday gift cards? Then there’s also Holiday schedule or Holiday hours. Hmm...don’t forget Holiday cards. Also, we have the Holiday season. Finally, there’s the Holiday mood.... Now that’s a killer, isn’t it? The list could go on however, you get the idea.

Holiday whatever... Don’t you think it’s so lame? Holiday to me is like a vacation, time off, a cruise, a trip to wherever, even time off to do some chores or whatever else around the house, or just plain time off to do absolutely nothing and be a bum at home. That is how I’ve always been lead to believe of what the meaning of holiday is. Not just some lame definition to replace the event Christmas. Even event isn’t good enough to define what Christmas is. However, I do accept that there are many other cultures and religion that don’t celebrate Christmas and coincidentally, their cultural and religious celebration happen to fall on the same time. I’ll give you that one. Having said that, we live in Canada which for many is a “land of dreams” and a place where a “dream come true” is. In other words, you left your native land to pursue your dreams here. Would it not be customary to also follow the cultures and customs here in Canada?

Consider the following: Tradition is meaningless. We as a society in North America believe that we live in a so called “land of dreams.” However, we make it a habit of breaking traditional dreams. Our traditions are meaningless. We break them. By the way, isn’t the American dream “traditional” too? That spectrum should be banished. It’s become old fashioned to live the American dream for it’s too traditional.

The word Christmas has become a disease where people are avoiding it in their daily linguistics. It has become a vulgar. A curse word. A cuss word. A swear word that is unclean and unsuitable to be used in public. We just don’t want to become racist with the word Christmas for not everyone celebrates Christmas. We don’t want to isolate some people. We don’t want to discriminate them.

Personally, I don’t see where the discrimination part comes in, however, I’ve heard it being explained to me that way. So, what will it be? Merry Christmas and Christmas whatever or whatever Christmas to preserve it? Or do we become a contradicted double minded lame-brain silly pathetic person where we pursue the American dream and live in a society that wants to break from traditions?

Yes, but unfortunately, not quite.

Despite the bad weather forecast, on the wedding day, it was breezy with just the right temperature and plenty of sunshine. We sat in our car and with all the windows rolled down, the interior of the car was very comfortable. The church was located alongside a highway with vehicles of all kinds zooming to their whereabouts. The radio was set to play soothing jazz that she loves for me to play whenever she sits in my car. I sat in the driver seat and she in the rear right of the car. Mom has already went into the church. There we were as I reflected back just 2 days ago at the wedding rehearsal, she held his hands as we were all excited and very much looking forward to this day. All went so perfect. The music was right. The rundown was very smooth.

It was about more than a few months ago when we were told of this day, August 2, 2008. Her mother was especially looking forward to this day and it will finally happen. The closer it is the more she's worried. However, with the grace of God, it looks like it will happen.

Thus as I reflected on all these incidents, she sat in her seat and didn't say a word. The lyrics of a song by ABBA, The Winner Takes It All suddenly rushed through my mind. I couldn't say a word of comfort but the lyrics continuously roamed freely in my mind and here's how it goes:

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

and the last verse goes like this:

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

These words seems so true as it describes very much what she's trying to convey to me. I couldn't continue the conversation as she told me she's very tired. Nothing I could do then to just watch as the guest keeps on arriving and each one of them strolled excitedly and delightfully towards to the entrance of the church.

When she finally decided to go in, she held my hands as we walked into the church. It was a moment where I felt like we walked in slow motion like a movie. As we got closer to the entrance, one of the wedding receptionist opened the door for us and demonstrated her concerns and care. She asked if we wanted to enter the Sanctuary. I said, yes, but let her change first. So, she gladly directed us to the appropriate place. When she's all dressed, we proceeded to the Sanctuary with the same lady leading us. As the doors opened the couple getting married is already signing the wedding registry. I felt like it was like a television series I saw a long time ago, where the lover stormed into a church and as the doors swung open he yelled the name of a bride who was getting married. Well, we didn't quite do that. I looked for my wife and the lady guided us towards the front and we seated right behind my wife. As soon as she saw her changed, she was elated. I picked her up and sat her beside her Mom. I nodded in agreement of yes, but unfortunately, not quite there. Too bad she couldn't be the flower girl. However, we partook in the group photo.

My heart a bit sad, now that I think back. Yes she could have been the flower girl, but unfortunately, not quite. Then again, who's going to get married in the next year or two that she could finally partake in this honour again?

...how time flies.

It was like just yesterday that she was born. Struggling to get to the hospital. Anxiously, yet tired...waiting in the assessment room to find out if we were in too early and sent all the way back home or not. Finally being born, she's taken away. The closest I got to her was the distance of holding the scissors and cutting the umbilical cord. However, within a very short time, I was able to finally touch her. That little chubby girl wrapped in her diaper looking back at you so innocently and being the cutest thing I ever saw. Not even a tear, she had in her eyes.

When we finally got back home, she slept soundly. Learning about and getting used to her took time. When we finally got the hang of it, it was time for her to start having solids. But we just started the feed her milk.

...and then she started to cry. She wouldn't go to sleep at night but during the day she'll refuse to get up. She loves to drink water, but refuses to have milk from a bottle. She loves noodles but not so much fond with rice...the typical Asian food.

...and then it was time for her to be toilet trained. She needed to be trained for a few months. We were worried whether she'll be trained because she constantly had accidents and the numerous hours she sat on the thrown. However, she finally managed # 2...and then also managed # 1. So, the next challenge would be....I dunno?!


Today...well...and then she started her first day at school...preschool that is. Prior to registration, we took her to visit the environment a few times. She was shy on the first time. She was a little reluctant to play around the classroom. In the past few weeks, we started to tell her how nice it's at school. The closer it got, the more we brain washed her...er I mean educating her mind of the existence of school and what will happen and who she'll see and not see.

...and then she was, again taken away from use....I mean to our surprise she stayed on her own and again without a tear in her eyes. Well...I wonder what she'll tell us tonight. I wonder how she'll cope with having more of her peers around her? I wonder how she'll be treated? I wonder how she'll react when isn't able to communicate with her peers in her native language?

...hmmm, I just wonder.

The year was 1995, when I first met her. I fell in love at first sight. We became friends and things matured and we went on our first date. Soon afterwards, I started to fall deeper in love and we saw more of each other.

I took her all around town. Far and close we traveled together and many places we visited. We zoomed across many towns & cities. Camping was also among our activities together. We even went to school & work together.

Years later, her health has been affected her in various ways. Even though she was not in good condition and despite my daily schedules, I still tried to take care of her the best can. I took her to see the doctor and paid for all kinds of remedy and procedural expenses.

On March 24, 2008 as we were commuting like every morning, suddenly she was hit from the front. She suffered severe frontal and some internal damages. I took her to the hospital and as she stayed in the critical care unit, I consulted with the doctors on a daily basis about her condition as it was really critical. The doctors couldn't start any procedures until everything was clear and that they would have absolute positive results.

Then after 2 weeks, on April 4, I learnt she would not make it and the doctors are not able to provide further care for her condition is worsening day by day. I reasoned and tried every alternative way to revive her health. I persuaded and pleaded with the surgeons to carry on the revival.

I took her home for a few days and spent our last times together. Unfortunately, the hopeless journey had to finally come to an end. After I walked the last mile with her, she breathed her last prior to our adieus. I laid her to rest as she awaits the tow truck. Sadly, I will be forever separated from my love...my Madza 626, Born on December 1995 and died on April 11, 2008. May she rest in peace.

Thank you for reading this. Please note, this isn't intended for any pun of any sort and not directed to anyone. Just my reminiscence of my car.