Will I wake up?

Inspired by and adapted from the songs of the movie version of Jonathan Larson's broadway musical: Rent

Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

One hundred and eight thousand minutes.
How do you measure two and half months?
Time wasted...time well wasted?
Mournful...
Scornful...
Playful...

Dull and day to day, hour to hour, and minute to minute!
Everyday is painful, but sometimes hopeful.
Numerous times the hopeful as turned doubtful.
Doubtful sometimes becomes sorrowful.

The gardener has left me in pains.
I must stand up and stop the whines.
The exit isn't as grand as my thoughts.
I limp and walked towards the main doors.

No day but it had to be on that day.
No other time it was and no other way.
No other day, but certainly it was planned before May.
What a way is was to spent my anniversary and birthday.

Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

The rose garden

As I entered a garden filled with roses, I noticed its vibrantly beautiful and they emit a fragrance that one would prefer to continously breathe in. The aroma of the rose is soothing and gives one's nose a sense of satisfaction. Many like it's appearance as it enhances any occasion and pleases one's eyes. This glourious scene elevated me to the seventh heaven.

Enthusiastically, I gazed upon the rose whenever the opportunity passes itself. Suddenly I became a part of that glory one wishes to be in. Moderately, I started to realize that roses also possessed nasty thorns. On one hand I admired the rose's beauty. On another, an unconscious fear spawned within me. It started to consume my mind and had a plan for me in the near future.

Now at each instant I see a rose, my mind takes the liberty of reminding me about the afflictions those thorns have left on my skin. At each opportunity is like the roses hurls its thorn or they chant their taunts at me. It isn't a pleasant scenery anymore. The afflictions inflicted were like punches that have bruised me all over. I've been hit. I lost my foothold and fell. Attaining and regaining my balance is not an easy thing to do. How much longer will it take for me to stand up tall and put this behind me? I want to move on, but am weak. I'm injured and waiting for the gardener to come and heal me.

Inner turbulence

partly inspired and adapted from song - Bohemian Rhapsody which is written and sung by Freddy Mercury of band: Queen.



a while back i entered a fantasy
it made one's dream come true
soon thereafter, like hell it seemed
occasionally there was a breeze.

now its like i've walked into a state of trance
so real it still looks
this does not seem like my real life
neither does it just seem like fantasy.

i stood still and pondered but i couldn't see why
shattered it became that dream
hell no more to add to that experience
but still i don't decipher the real meaning.

i feel like i've been caught in a landslide
there seems no escape from reality
"open your eyes" i've been told
the tears are stinging and closed they remained.

looking up to the skies i tried
the clouds forming thick and becoming dark
the end seem no where in sight
how much longer till daybreak shall i wait?

u'r not alone

after being read to from Q's blog, i had the urge to encourage her and also V & A as new parents. u guys are only at the beginning stage. nothing should discourage y'all at this stage. yes, these adorable, cute, and invaluable estates are entrusted on us. it's our responsibility to care, nurture, and also to cultivate them. and the latter is the most important part, i think. needless to say, i hesitantly compare ur situations to mine and whoa...need i go further?


i understand where u'r coming from. in fact, it's agreeable that it's definitely overwhelmening every single moment u'd spend that time with ur precious 1. despite the fact that i don't agree with most of the products she promotes, LL provided what she thought is the best for our little ones. her concerns are still valid if u focus ur vision beyond the surface of her lectures during her long and dragging classes. when u'r trying to promote something that u believe in, would u not make ur product stand up really high. one'd probably do the same thing she's done and continuosly do. please don't take me wrong as i'm not standing on her side because of the graceful success we had with our little 1's feeding. all i'm trying to pursuade y'all to see beyond. regardlessly, i'd still recommend anyone attending her classes. i'd also tell them the reason for that for i also believe that breastfeeding is good. however, if it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world. there are alternatives and other responsibilities on ur side.

life is funny sometimes. many unpleasant things could happen. many pleasant things will balance it to make life worthy of it's living. it a matter of being able to balance it properly and appropriately. putting too much weight on the unpleasantness of life will only make it continously distasteful to urselves. what is successful to u, may not be for others. what is advantageous to other may not be of benefit to u. please don't be downcasted.

despite the drizzles that smashes on ur faces... when it seesm like u'r walking down the dark valley and feeling weak... even if the thunder crashes and the lightning flashes, don't be alarmed. just hang in there. the sun is still above the stormy clouds. them dark clouds will pass and bring forth beautiful clouds and the sunlight it will peak through to a point where it drowns us.

To my good Brother

The Lord is our shepherd. We will not be lacking anything less. Yes, walking down that valley of death is definitely a scary thing. Our God's protection is all we need. In His hands, He holds His staff. It's where the beautiful terrain of green grass God will walk us and along the quiet waters. That's where our sorrows are taken away from us and where our roots will be quenched of thirst. Fear no evil for God's with us. Protection, comfort, and peace He will bring forth to us. God does not make mistakes. God only makes good things out of unfortunate events. Stand strong in whatever the circumstances.
Continue to be faithful in whatever trials you face ahead. God has remained faithful to you and only faithful will He continue to be to you forever. Hold your arms up and He will certainly place you in his strong arms. It's only there we will find comfort. Even if you can't see it, take your first faithful step and He'll reveal to you the the very next one.

The playground that ought to be empty

Walking along a playground, I see many children wandering around. Some others are standing. Some are just watching. Some stopped with whatever they were doing and just keep staring at me. Some waved. Some others simply smiled and I responded the same way to those.

Questions...many of them then started to fly like arrows. "Why" was the most popular one. I don't know the answer as to why the "why's." I stopped for a bit to ponder upon the questions that targeted me. "Come along now, my child." Papa said to me. "Who are these children" I asked Papa, "and where are their parents?" Papa just responded with a smile. Then I asked one more question which stopped Papa: "Are they here because they've been naughty?" Papa turned around, crouched in front of me and said: "No, my child. They're here for a reason. They're sick." "Why are they sick at this age?" I responded " They're so young. Did they do something bad? Then Papa paused & he smiled to comfort me. He said: "Come here" and hugged me. Then he whispered in my ear, "That's because God wants to show us how graceful and powerful He is."

About SC & YT

There are two persons whom have been a great comfort in times of trouble.

SC is a very beautiful, lovely, and understanding person. She has the heart of a mother and the talent of a elder sister who loves her children and siblings. Her words of comfort are too simple to express using just mere words. However, when you read them, they'll be so soothing as if it was quenching a long scorching and dry thirst.

Although YT doesn't really speak much, his observations, however, are unusual. His father figure gives you the peace of mind and his comforts you safely. He can be a brother who stands out for his siblings and protects them. His guidance and words of wisdom will only benefit us in many ways during tests and trials.

I take pride in having them in my life. Thanks SC & YT.

...that absurd phone call

There are many things that we take advantage of in life. Things that we think are suppose to happen no matter what the circumstances. The air we breathe...we don't even think about it and breathe it in and out. Take a moment and think of a fish who lives in the water. Will it ever think of it's environment whilst it's swimming all of the it's home? What will it think if it's suddenly taken out of the water? Actually, what will go through it's mind when this happens? It will try to grasp for air, but whatever it takes in does not register. A fish will never think of what will happen if they're fished out of the water despite that we humans continuously mass fish them for our consumption.

This past Thursday, as I was strolling down the congested highway to a procedure, I received a call. I a few questions was racing through my mind and the first one was who'd be calling me so early in the morning? Then I was thinking if it was a friend who could call. Or maybe it was my parents. Finally the answer: it was to cancel the process. I was confused. The first instance my mind was thinking of how to explain this to my boss. At that moment, the only option for me was to go back home and await another call.

Everything was planned and now the whole plan is thrown of it's course. In the beginning of executing the plan, that one phone call puts it on hold. Now that's such a weird and absurd feeling, isn't it? All that planning now seems to be in vain. Funny, isn't it? I assure you that when you're living through it, there's nothing funny about it at all. I couldn't...actually, shouldn't get mad. It wasn't my fault, however, still I shouldn't. My mind was blank. I felt a sense of void... a sense of helplessness... a sense of disorientation.

On the way home, I was senseless. Why is this happening? Was I dreaming? The state of trance made me not want to head home. I wanted the plan to carry out. Such weird feeling. It was as if my vacation was cancelled at the last minute. It was a fact. Obediently, I drove home and waited...and that's what happened most of the day: I waited patiently.

Outcries from within

The trees are still barren. The grass are still pale after the snow has melted. The air is damp and the wind is steady with a chill. The many empty benches lying in the barren park. One lonely goose landed into the pond which has a thin layer of ice. It's lonely quack prompted me to take some pictures of these empty benches that lies lonely, in the park. They once were filled with people who were resting on it. Filled with people who were sharing their secrets on it. Filled with people who just simply sat there to enjoy the children playing in the park. Now their outcries in the cold. Their steel body that's now uninviting. Thoughts that are strongly depressed within. When will it be time again for it to be able to release a warm welcome? When will people start to feel comfortable on it again?


The wind continues to be chilly. The walk around the park is continually lonely. That goose isn't quacking anymore. The warmth within me is fading. It wants to be released. Thoughts that are depressed wants to be released. Thougths that only God would understand. But now He seems far away. Or maybe He never left. Just maybe if I could hear Him say one more time: "Come here my child and let me hold you." Maybe it's even me that isn't hearing it. The wind is still roaring and obstructing my ears.


There are too many suppressors around everyday. Too many to keep count. With a positive attitude I go by daily. Are these positiveness running out? Am I to step away from the crowd and enter loneliness? Should I be uninviting and obnoxious in a subtle way? Should I just follow my instinct? What else is there? There must be other choices. There has got to be another route. As I continue to wander my way around aimlessly, my home calls to me. It's there I'll find warmth. It's there I'll find comfort. In that warmth and comfort, I'll continue to face my challenges. Let Him who provides warmth and comfort also prepare me the strength I need to encounter the challenges ahead of me. May these grass become green again very soon. Let these trees be filled with leaves and wave at each other again. Allow these benches to be inviting for those who are weary to take a rest. Come back soon, you geese and orchestrate with the songs of the birds. Oh warm air, please return your breeze. I miss you.

A new Challenge

A friend of mine is a enthusiast in hiking. Him and his wife goes very often and would encourage me to tag along many times. After trying his training in the easier levels and eventually the more advanced levels, and finally to the levels where it involves some mountain climbing. One day he came to me and said: “You've been trained enough to go to the next stage. Next week, I want to take you to a trail where there's also a mountain to climb. Don't worry, you're training should be sufficient. If you're not ready, I wouldn't give you this challenge.” So, from today onwards, I have to be physically fit to take this challenge. Honestly speaking, I'm very nervous and somewhat frightened by unknowing what is ahead. I just don't know what to expect other than preparing myself mentally as well. Will there be places that I can't walk through? What happens if I encounter a thick fog? Would I be able to trample through marshes? Is the mountain steep? How much gear should I bring with me? Will I physically and mentally ready to take this challenge? What lies ahead is entirely a mystery.

Film comment: Crash

The following is a courtesy of IMDb:

Film synopsis:

Several stories interweave during two days in Los Angeles involving a collection of inter-related characters, a black police detective with a drugged out mother and a thieving younger brother, two car thieves who are constantly theorizing on society and race, the distracted district attorney and his irritated and pampered wife, a racist veteran cop (caring for a sick father at home) who disgusts his more idealistic younger partner, a successful black Hollywood director and his wife who must deal with racist cop, a Persian-immigrant father who buys a gun to protect his shop, a Hispanic locksmith and his young daughter who is afraid of bullets, and more.

Directed, written, and screenplay by Paul Haggis
Produced by Don Cheadle

Cast (in credits order)

Karina Arroyave .... Elizabeth
Dato Bakhtadze .... Lucien
Sandra Bullock .... Jean
Don Cheadle .... Graham
Art Chudabala .... Ken Ho
Sean Cory .... Motorcycle Cop
Tony Danza .... Fred
Keith David .... Lt. Dixon
Loretta Devine .... Shaniqua
Matt Dillon .... Officer Ryan
Jennifer Esposito .... Ria
Ime Etuk .... Georgie (as Ime N. Etuk)
Eddie J. Fernandez .... Officer Gomez (as Eddie Fernandez)
William Fichtner .... Flanagan
Howard Fong .... Store Owner
Brendan Fraser .... Rick
Billy Gallo .... Officer Hill
Ken Garito .... Bruce
Nona Gaye .... Karen
Octavio Gómez .... Hispanic Passenger
James Haggis .... Lara's Friend
Terrence Howard .... Cameron
Sylva Kelegian .... Nurse Hodges
Daniel Dae Kim .... Park
Bruce Kirby .... Pop Ryan
Ludacris .... Anthony (as Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges)
Jayden Lund .... Security Guard
Jack McGee .... Gun Store Owner
Amanda Moresco .... First Assistant Director
Thandie Newton .... Christine
Martin Norseman .... Conklin
Joe Ordaz .... Hispanic Driver
Greg Joung Paik .... Choi
Michael Pena .... Daniel (as Michael Peña)
Yomi Perry .... Maria
Ryan Phillippe .... Officer Hanson
Alexis Rhee .... Kim Lee
Ashlyn Sanchez .... Lara
Molly Schaffer .... Woman at Locksmith's
Paul E. Short .... Officer Stone
Marina Sirtis .... Shereen
Bahar Soomekh .... Dorri
Allan Steele .... Paramedic
Kate Super .... Receptionist
Larenz Tate .... Peter
Glenn Taranto .... Country DJ (voice)
Beverly Todd .... Graham's Mother
Shaun Toub .... Farhad
Kathleen York .... Officer Johnson
Nicholas George Stark .... Jamal (unaccredited)

The following is my analysis and comment.

Lately, I had the urge to see the movie "Crash" after it was mentioned on a radio station that I've preset on my car's radio. The radio announcer mentioned only the title and briefly some other information about that movie like who was in it and that it was nominated for best picture in the Oscars'. Based on the brief information I received, I felt I should see this movie. After finally seeing the movie, I thought of myself living in a foreign country as an Asian. For as long as I could remember, I've encountered a few racist comments since the day I stepped onto Canadian soil. There is one incident that I could remember vividly. When I was in Junior High, in the morning I attended English as a Second Language (a.k.a. E.S.L.) and in the afternoon attended the regular subjects with my grade 8 homeroom class. In one afternoon class, I was sitting behind a tall Caucasian classmate. I couldn't remember which subject it was and I couldn't remember what I asked. He turned around asked what I was doing there and told me to go back to ESL. I didn't know how to respond to that comment.

This film was like a mirror of what we experience everyday. In the scene of the two black car thieves who are walking down the street talking to each other about being treated differently because of skin colour, provoked my thoughts when the movie was playing. Thoughts in my mind ran around asking if I had ever experience this. Then the scene continued with a white couple walking in the opposite direction. The lady held her husband's arm tightly just prior to crossing the two black pedestrians. I was thinking that this is exactly what I would see if I was walking in the city streets. The connection was made immediately. Unfortunately, this connection was a little late. Two scenes have passed already: the crash accident and the Father and daughter purchasing a gun. Those didn't connect with me. I understand that they were essential to build the story and as it progresses, this gun purchasing interwove with the store owner being afraid of robbery at his store. It was for personal protection. It turned out that it wasn’t useful, but did however turn things around where a young Hispanic girl believed to have saved her father who was a locksmith. This locksmith was changing the locks in a house, had to endure racist comments from this white woman who along with her husband got their high end SUV stolen at gun point. This segment struck me and I felt sympathetic towards the locksmith. I kept on thinking why this white lady (and probably representing many more) is such a stereotypical bigot. I must credit the actress for portraying this quite nicely.

Racism was raised to another level where the police are notified to be on a lookout for a stolen SUV. Two police officers, one of which has a father who’s suffering from some kind of penile disease (my apologies, I didn’t hear what the actual problem was), was driving and followed in pursuit of a SUV that bore the same features including body colour of the stolen one with a different licence plate. A black woman came up from a crouching position in the front seat and looked towards the back window and showed her smiling gesture. The police officer pulled them over and performed a thorough body search on the black lady. So, a black couple, in which the lady had a few drinks, in an expensive SUV, is pulled over and being thoroughly body searched for possession of weapons. This racial profiling displayed gave me the chills and my heart pounded as if I was in that situation. This controversial incident happens in real life and worse situations have been reported. Then again, if it wasn’t for the media, would the public have any knowledge of this? This black successful Hollywood director kept silent about this and went home quarrelling with his wife about this incident. So, does one keep their silence when one is being mocked and humiliated? Suppressing one’s ethnic background brings one’s feelings down suffering lanes. Only those suffering would know and remains a solo experience. This exterior scene took place at night. There wasn’t anyone around looking other than cars passing by. There was no indication that those cars stopped to see what’s going on. Maybe that’s also reality where we’re supposedly too busy to find out what’s going on or are we afraid to find out what’s occurring around? We rather sit at home and watch this on the news.

The sex scene illustrated the need for racism to be destroyed. The detective told his mother that he’s “having sex with a white one.” Put down the perversion and think beyond it. Look beyond the intimacy. There’s a need for the destruction of the wall of bigotry and stereotype. In this case, black people should be able to mingle freely with white people. Any other ethnic groups should be treated equally with respect and be able to freely intermingle. I consider that this scene is strategically placed as the climax of the film. Everything from this moment on started to wine down or maybe be resolved temporarily. At least it seems that way. The pampered wife started to realize she needs to reconcile with her maid. The Persian immigrant began to see life differently on foreign soil. Both the car thief and the successful director began to accept the fact that they’re and remain to be black in the eyes of another person and in this case, the Caucasian. The Detective continues to strive and carry out his responsibilities responsibly.

The scene of the police officer rescuing the woman he body searched presented the idea that it is possible for racism to be declared obsolete. I see the scene where the illegal immigrants are being released from the rear of the truck as being a new beginning. As for the final scene where snow falls, what does that symbolize? Does it mean that we’re in a loop where we’ll never be able to escape? Is it a sign of another fierce winter ahead and thus another batch of racial discrimination will derive?

Human = Animal?

I was just chatting with a friend who's a female. At the beginning of the chat window, somehow she called me bad and refused to tell me when I asked her about 10 lines down the chat session. Then I replied asking why all women are like that. She said that all women are superior animals. This struck something in my mind about humans being animals. I know when we're created, we're created to be superior as humans. What I don't understand is why we're sometimes referred to as animals. Does that not make us humans inferior? Maybe because we act like an animal or that we sometimes live as one? The wildness in us...is that the reason why? Then we'd be getting into psychology with all these "id" "ego" and "superego" thing. It'll become too complicated. Btw, if you don't know what I'm talking about, forget about the psych part.

Let's just focus on the human equal animal thing. I tried my luck my friend: Google. Guess what I got. One million eight hundred and sixty thousand hits is what I got returned in 0.19 seconds. Don't believe me, see for yourself. How about opening a new window and go to google and type the exact phrase in the search field: human equal animal. I have to admit that I didn't click on any of the links to read any of the contents offered. Just reading the headings gave me the chills. Please don't get me wrong, I respect all animals and humans as well. Oh darn...I just got myself into another thought: is respect the same as rights? Anyways, I'll let you stroll on that.

Meanwhile back at the range. If you believe God is the creator of all, hope you do, but even if you don't, why would you still say that we're animals. What makes you so sure? I really want someone to tell me where they read that or what provoked their thoughts to be delivering these depressing ideas? Anyhow, we're created with dignity to walk as humans. Although, sometimes, I did wish that I was an animal and all I had to do was to find food to fill my hunger and not be eaten by another animal. As an animal, I wouldn't have to worry about anything else in the world as humans do. Then again, no one has ever been an animal and come back to tell us, so we would never know how an animal processed it's thought. Hey...do they have any thoughts? I believe it's instinct they depend on. So, how is it that we sometimes call ourselves animals?

In movies and story books, personification of animals are done to bring on other ideas. It's just a presentation of some sort. Remember, these are done from a human perspective. We think they could think. As previously said, they operate on instinct. In a real world, we could train the animals to perform acts. That's because the animals know that after they've performed something, they'll be rewarded. If they don't they'll be punished. This process in the psych textbooks is called "conditioning." Ok, I should not go there again and that's the last time I'm mentioning the word psychology. ...oops, sorry.

So, after all these babbling, I still don't have any ideas of what the answer to "humans = animals" would be. If you know, please...by all means, let me know. If I've dissed you in any ways above, please forgive me and you also have my sincere apologies. To that friend of mine, I hope I didn't offend you by making reference to you here. I treasure all of my friends. Thanx.

Fall, Winter, & Spring...

The Autumn cool, the Winter snow, and the Spring showers all experienced in 36 hours. This morning we went from the Autumn cool to the cold Winters again. The only season missing from the formula was Summer and this is in February.

Last night, I looked out the window from the second floor of my house and I saw the driveway covered with ice from the rain. It was so shiny that it was a skating rink by late evening with rain continuosly falling even after 11:00 PM. I knew cuz I was out there clearing the snow/ice bank the city plough created.

It was about 10:35 PM or so and I heard the snow plough in the neighbourhood. Then I thought to myself: "Oh no. Are you kidding?" Then in anticipation I waited for the snowplough to come to my street. I waited and waited...and waited. Then I waited again...and again. I waited anticipatingly for I know that till morning, the ice bank will be impossible to clear. Finally it arrived.

This means I must change from my pajamas to some winter clothes and make it down to where the ice bank was. On my way down the driveway, I had the urge to skate. Too bad I don't skate and I've lost my skates for years already. With a mixture of water and ice, clearing the ice bank became a heavy workout. Then clearing the ice on the driveway, that was cracking when I stepped on it, was another workout for more sweat. Mind you, previously, I was already in my pajamas which means I've already showered.

When I was finally done, I went into the house wet on the inside and also on the outside. Nope, it wasn't the sweat that was dripping on the winter jacket. It was rain. I thought I could call it an night and decided to hit the sack for I was too tired to take another shower when I've calmed down. Just when I was about to fall asleep...my daughter burped loudly after her last feeding.

Then I heard another roar. No, it wasn't my daughter playing the lioness. It came from outside. Another "uh ow" went through my mind. At that moment, I said to myself, why do these snowploughs have to plough twice. It happened before. I think about 2 years back, I shovelled my driveway and cleared the snow bank at about 1:00 AM. When I was finished, that snowplough came around again and I was standing in the middle of the driveway watching and waiting to clear it for the second time in a row. The operator stopped just before my driveway and lifted the plough and passed my driveway and then lowerd the plough to continue his duty. So, this morning when I saw that mini ice bank that I can't clear for it's already frozen, I figured that if I stood on the driveway lastnight, would history repeat itself?

How come the city doesn't clear the snow banks for it's citizens? We do pay our taxes. It's our duty to clear the snow or ice that covers our driveway and walkway if there's one, within 24 hours after the snow falls. Why is it our duty to clear the snow bank? Isn't all that snow from the street? Isn't our tax dollars enough to cover it? Does the Municiple government know that clearing the snow banks are dangerous and could potentially seriously affect our health? Well, maybe just when someone dies. It's always the case for our Government to act only when there's death involved. Hmmm....I wonder why?

The doctor said...

ha ha...

What are you thankful for?

I received this in an email. I thought is was thought provoking and nice. So I want to share it with you. Hope you enjoy it and find it soothing as I have.

I Am Thankful For:

For the teenager who is not doing dishes but is watching TV, because that means he is at home and not on the streets.

For the taxes I pay, because it means that I am employed.

For the mess to clean after a party, because it means that I have been surrounded by friends.

For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means I have enough to eat.

For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.

For a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.

For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech.

For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I am capable of walking, and that I have been blessed with transportation.

For my huge heating bill, because it means I am warm.

For the lady behind me in my place of worship when she sings off key, because it means that I can hear.

For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I am alive.

and finally....

For too much e-mail, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.

...well, I'm not invited.

Amsterdam is inviting some bloggers to visit Holland by KLM and stay in 5 star hotels like Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky...and are you ready for this? All paid for accomodations and free flights. The catch is that these bloggers have to blog the trip, be interviewed about the trip, let Holland.com advertise on their blogpage, and place "Bloggers in Amsterdam" logo in their navigation bar for one year. For more information, go to Expatica .

The article furthers with Danny Glover not being "enthusiastic" about it. He claims the these bloggers are being bribed with luxurious treatments. In fact, bloggers are the ones who orate verbosely about these kinds of bribery directed to govermental authorities by corrupted lobbyist. These 25 bloggers will undoubtedly write only good things about the trip.

Well, I kinda believe that that's the purpose. If you'd like someone to talk good about something or a product, you either give them the product to try and discover the alledged benefits of the product. Only after a set period of time, one will find out about the advantages or disadvantages. Danny Glover does have his point for only 25 are invited. My guess is that these 25 bloggers are carefully chosen. After all, blogs are widely read and that's one good way of advertising. Many people, including myself would take the word of another person. So, word of mouth is a subtle but effective way of advertising. Yes, it's true that someway, somehow, these bloggers will definitely be writing only the good about Amsterdam or Holland for this matter. Simply for the reason they're kinda paid to do so. As a result, there is nothing wrong on the surface. Ethically speaking...well, in the world of business, what is ethical?

Despite the fact that I'm new to blogging, I'm still blogging. How come only 25 are invited. How about me? I love travelling, too. I could also blog about this trip and I'm sure I'll blog about every single detail that I like or dislike. In 1999 and 2003 I've been there. All my life I've been exposed to Holland. So, in fact, I'd probably know more than these 25 invited bloggers. Well, maybe that's one of the reason I would not be invited.

Let it snow...not!

We have snow, finally, and again. Hey's it's better than rain for a while. Somehow, we need some snow. But at the same time, I think the next snow fall should be at least another week. Seems like this is unlikely to happen for the next few days will consist flurries...

Let me be reminded...

It's been 8 months since I first heard of the diagnosis of my daughter. We were told her heart is full of complications. From then on, it's been a bumpy ride all along. Today, I looked back during the sermon by Pastor Kwok, I see that God is constantly reminding me. This is good for I know that I will moderately and slowly forget His grace on us.

The sermon talked about the thorn that Paul, the apostle, had during his ministry. Three times he prayed to have it removed. Instead, he was told him to God's power will be perfect in weakness and most of all that His grace is sufficient to us. Pastor Kwok also mentioned his co-worker in Christ. This co-worker used to hold a high position in a well known bank locally and also actively involved in church ministry. He was diagnosed with cancer in his intestines. During the whole process of treatments, he learnt to be completely dependant on God. Also, another co-worker in youth ministry was mentioned. This co-worker is a diabetic and heavily relied on medication. To Pastor Kwok's surprise, this co-worker never grumbled nor protested about his unhealthy body with God. In turn he thanked God for reminding him that he needs to slow down in his life.

May this sermon serve as another reminder that God has been gracious all these months. Let this be a reminder to me that in the many more months ahead, I will continue to fully commit to be dependant on God. Life is full of surprises and one would never know when the next one is ready to catch us of guard. Even if we encounter one of these surprises that is so unwelcomed, we must face them with courage. Who knows...maybe it serves as a reminder for us that we need to reconsider our position? Maybe, we need to stop what we're doing and search for dependancy. Finally, maybe we need to just seize with the speed we're going at and rest our body and listen to what the Creator has to say to us.

While the enjoyment of life may just overshadow us with all the things we've toiled for, we must also remember where they've originated. It could be an endangerment to indulgement when we fail to see that success will sometimes lead us too. Lest we forget, for success will sometimes lead us to think that it's with our own hands that we have strived and with no assistance. Ponder on the fact, if we haven't the knowledge, how could we have succeeded? And just where did knowledge come from? Education is the basis for knowledge. So, who is it that designed it?

This may have dragged too far. Just let me be constantly reminded. This thorn in me will keep my mind hopeful that the power of God is made perfect in my weakness and that the grace given is far more than what I've expected.

My 2 cents thoughts...

Hi,

It's already 2006. Technology and times have changed and so has my thinking. Well, this is my first time hosting a blog. I've convinced myself to start blogging my thoughts. So, here I'm blogging my way all over cyber space. Any comments are welcome on any future blogs and as well as on this one. Don't think anyone would comment on this blog though.

I just mentioned technology and times have changed. Throughout the years, I've been witnessing many changes just around world of technology. Just over 10 years ago, I owned my very first computer. Now, I don't even know where it's buried. Currently, I have my desktop, outlived a few mobile phones, have two television sets, two vcr's, 2 dvd machines, a digital camera, an mp3 player, and my Brother-in-law's PS2 is sitting under my tv. How about 10 years from now? What will I posses then? Can't imagine what technology will evolve into. Heck, maybe my house will have a computer furnance in the basement controlling most electronics around the house.

For the time being, I'll just focus on building up my patience in raising my daughter who's just less than 3 months old. Many parents have told me that babies tend to start being stable at month 3 or 4. I'm praying that she will continue to sleep till the morning from now on. She started to do so a few days ago.

I'm a person who enjoys watching good television series. Movies is also another one of favourites. Tell me what kind of films you've seen recently and lets start chatting about them, but I've probably not seen as many as you may have. This shouldn't stop you from chatting about it.

Hope I didn't set some kind of tone here. We could discuss anything. So, come on and fire away.